I remember the first person I saw in a wheelchair. I was at the doctor’s office for my kindergarten physical. Who was in the chair? The doctor. (Polio) Then there was Dale, a young man who slobbered and walked funny. He taught me to dance the two-step. (Cerebral Palsy) I didn't know the diseases nor did I know they were disabled. They were my friends.
In seventeen years as a nurse, I saw a multitude of persons with physical disabilities. Some had accepted their disability and functioned well in society, like my childhood friends. Others hadn't. They were angry and depressed.
In 1991, an automobile accident injured my spinal cord paralyzing me from my neck down. Three months into an ICU stay, my neurosurgeon spoke to my husband. “Earl, she'll be bedridden, ventilator-dependent, and a vegetable. You're too young to be saddled with an invalid wife. We can let her die comfortably.”
Earl refused and arranged my transfer to a spinal cord injury (SCI) rehabilitation hospital in Atlanta, Georgia. Once stable, off the ventilator, and using a power wheelchair I went to the gym. My neighbors and I shared our stories. We were alike.
Back home no one was like me. Strangers and friends petted me and called me a “poor thing.” Many ignored my injury, as if it would go away, or ignored me, hoping I'd go away. I became angry and bitter.
After years of struggling with the reality that I wasn't going to be healed, and studying God's Word, I learned that He didn't call me to be an invalid. He called me to be Christ-centered and bold in my faith as I shared what He had done for me.
Henri J. M. Nouwen called this type of ministry “The Wounded Healer.” Steve Seamands, Professor of Christian Doctrine at Asbury Seminary, and author of “Wounds That Heal,” told me years ago, “His wounds have healed you. Now he's using your wounds to heal others.”
Peter said it this way: “As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another” (1 Peter 4:10).
As we strive to reflect Gods nature, others will see God's love in us.
In Christ Alone,
Berta
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Strive For Perfection
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. John 10:10, (NIV)
Recently a friend and I were sharing our phobias. She spoke of certain fears in her youth and how they were crippling her as a young adult. I could relate to that. Childhood fears were well founded in my dysfunctional family. I either isolated myself—playing alone under the stairwell—or became a people-pleaser toward the adults in my life.
As I grew into an adult, my fears were transformed into self-consciousness and perfectionism. If I couldn’t do it right I simply wouldn’t do it. I feared both people I knew and strangers as I performed everyday tasks, afraid someone might tell me I was doing them wrong.
When I became a Christian, my insecurities multiplied. I was so afraid of judgment over my sinful past and lack of biblical knowledge that I rarely attended Sunday school or Bible studies,
Then, on a Walk to Emmaus, I heard about Jesus mercy, grace, love and forgiveness, He told me He died for me, a sinner. He took away my fears and forgave me of my sins. He redeemed my soul and gave me life everlasting. He led me to His word and began teaching me His ways. He is growing me into the person He desires and I am His willing servant.
Strive for perfection and don’t let the fear of man separate you from God.
In Christ Alone,
Berta
Recently a friend and I were sharing our phobias. She spoke of certain fears in her youth and how they were crippling her as a young adult. I could relate to that. Childhood fears were well founded in my dysfunctional family. I either isolated myself—playing alone under the stairwell—or became a people-pleaser toward the adults in my life.
As I grew into an adult, my fears were transformed into self-consciousness and perfectionism. If I couldn’t do it right I simply wouldn’t do it. I feared both people I knew and strangers as I performed everyday tasks, afraid someone might tell me I was doing them wrong.
When I became a Christian, my insecurities multiplied. I was so afraid of judgment over my sinful past and lack of biblical knowledge that I rarely attended Sunday school or Bible studies,
Then, on a Walk to Emmaus, I heard about Jesus mercy, grace, love and forgiveness, He told me He died for me, a sinner. He took away my fears and forgave me of my sins. He redeemed my soul and gave me life everlasting. He led me to His word and began teaching me His ways. He is growing me into the person He desires and I am His willing servant.
Strive for perfection and don’t let the fear of man separate you from God.
In Christ Alone,
Berta
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Tested and Proven
My physical therapist is doing sensory testing on me today. With my eyes closed and head turned away, she begins. Following a dermatome chart, she touches different areas of my upper chest and arms with a pin. I respond “sharp” or “dull.”
Laughing she says, “That’s incredible, Berta. What level are you supposed to be?”
“I’m a C-4* complete. My spinal cord is severed.”
“That means all you’re supposed to feel or move is your head.”
“I know.”
She checks her chart again. “You’re testing at T-4** on your chest, C-6/7 on your arms, and even some distant sensation that is difficult to classify. Tell me again about your injury.”
“The initial classification was C-5/6 complete with very little strength, and no stamina or control. A year after the injury I was still struggling with weakness in my arms, and I couldn’t hold my head up. An x-ray revealed that my neck wasn’t fused, and I needed surgery.”
“In surgery, broken pieces of my fifth cervical vertebra were removed, and a piece of my hipbone was wired in place from C-4-7.”
“Four months later I returned, and after several tests were completed the surgeon began the exam. He seemed perplexed, rude even, as he tested function and sensation. I was able to do most of what he asked. He looked over my chart and shook his head. ‘Well, I’m going to release you to go home and I recommend you go to physical therapy.’”
“Seventeen years later a friend, who is also a radiologist, encouraged me to have a cervical MRI, ‘Just to see what’s going on in there.’ What was going on was an obvious lack of spinal cord from C-4-7. I’m thankful no one told me that little bit of information in those early days. I might have quit trying.”
“That’s amazing. What do you think it is?” She’s still looking at the chart.
“A God thing.”
“God is healing you, isn’t He? “
“Yes.”
In Christ Alone,
Berta
* C: cervical
** T: thoracic
Laughing she says, “That’s incredible, Berta. What level are you supposed to be?”
“I’m a C-4* complete. My spinal cord is severed.”
“That means all you’re supposed to feel or move is your head.”
“I know.”
She checks her chart again. “You’re testing at T-4** on your chest, C-6/7 on your arms, and even some distant sensation that is difficult to classify. Tell me again about your injury.”
“The initial classification was C-5/6 complete with very little strength, and no stamina or control. A year after the injury I was still struggling with weakness in my arms, and I couldn’t hold my head up. An x-ray revealed that my neck wasn’t fused, and I needed surgery.”
“In surgery, broken pieces of my fifth cervical vertebra were removed, and a piece of my hipbone was wired in place from C-4-7.”
“Four months later I returned, and after several tests were completed the surgeon began the exam. He seemed perplexed, rude even, as he tested function and sensation. I was able to do most of what he asked. He looked over my chart and shook his head. ‘Well, I’m going to release you to go home and I recommend you go to physical therapy.’”
“Seventeen years later a friend, who is also a radiologist, encouraged me to have a cervical MRI, ‘Just to see what’s going on in there.’ What was going on was an obvious lack of spinal cord from C-4-7. I’m thankful no one told me that little bit of information in those early days. I might have quit trying.”
“That’s amazing. What do you think it is?” She’s still looking at the chart.
“A God thing.”
“God is healing you, isn’t He? “
“Yes.”
In Christ Alone,
Berta
* C: cervical
** T: thoracic
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