This Christmas was difficult. I wasn't in the mood to celebrate. I didn't feel joyful. I felt Heaven's Loss.* I wept as I saw images of the incarnate Jesus wrapped in swaddling cloth and lying in a manger. Oh, the glory He left to redeem God's creation! The burden I felt did not lift as I prayed for understanding and talked with my husband, Earl.
I sobbed more deeply than ever before as the pain reached way into my spirit. I listened to friends mourning the loss of loved ones and saw sorrow in the eyes of a sister in Christ. There were many suffering trials.
I found a quiet place where I could think, meditate and pray. It was a balm to my spirit and I remembered my return home after my injury in 1991. To allow people to care for me was very difficult. I hated that I was dependent on others. Having someone bathe and dress me, pick me up and place me in my wheelchair, then feed me made me feel helpless, like a baby. Children often asked, "Why are you in a stroller"? Adults asked, "Oh. Can I feed her?" Others said, "I'm so sorry you have to be in that wheelchair."
I cried. I begged God to heal me.
Jesus prayed, "“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39 NIV).
Sunday, January 1, 2011, will be the 21st anniversary of my spinal cord injury. I still can't walk, shower, dress, etc., but my spirit knows healing. It came through faith and your ministry to me and evolved into my own ministry of healing through God's calling and your faith and encouragement.
Today I teach about my disability and share my story and my faith wherever God opens a door.
In Christ Alone,
Berta
*Print by Ron DiCianni referred to last month.
Comment by Earl-
Incarnation, for God to be "in the flesh," meant Jesus not only felt what we felt, HE risked what we risk. Death, disease, disability became very possible with Incarnation. Hebrews 13:3 brings home this point about you and I being incarnate, when we are advised, "Remember the prisoners as if chained with them; those who are mistreated; since you yourselves are in the body also." (NKJV)
I sobbed more deeply than ever before as the pain reached way into my spirit. I listened to friends mourning the loss of loved ones and saw sorrow in the eyes of a sister in Christ. There were many suffering trials.
I found a quiet place where I could think, meditate and pray. It was a balm to my spirit and I remembered my return home after my injury in 1991. To allow people to care for me was very difficult. I hated that I was dependent on others. Having someone bathe and dress me, pick me up and place me in my wheelchair, then feed me made me feel helpless, like a baby. Children often asked, "Why are you in a stroller"? Adults asked, "Oh. Can I feed her?" Others said, "I'm so sorry you have to be in that wheelchair."
I cried. I begged God to heal me.
Jesus prayed, "“My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:39 NIV).
Sunday, January 1, 2011, will be the 21st anniversary of my spinal cord injury. I still can't walk, shower, dress, etc., but my spirit knows healing. It came through faith and your ministry to me and evolved into my own ministry of healing through God's calling and your faith and encouragement.
Today I teach about my disability and share my story and my faith wherever God opens a door.
In Christ Alone,
Berta
*Print by Ron DiCianni referred to last month.
Comment by Earl-
Incarnation, for God to be "in the flesh," meant Jesus not only felt what we felt, HE risked what we risk. Death, disease, disability became very possible with Incarnation. Hebrews 13:3 brings home this point about you and I being incarnate, when we are advised, "Remember the prisoners as if chained with them; those who are mistreated; since you yourselves are in the body also." (NKJV)
Berta:
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this. I especially like the scripture from Hebrews. I pray you have a joyous new year.
Berta, what a starkly honest testimony. I appreciate you!
ReplyDelete