Chaos

When I left my home at seventeen, I was alone. I experienced fear in my ability to function in daily life. I had been a member of a family, a group of people focused only on day-to-day survival. 


Our dynamics changed frequently but we were together wherever we were.

Six members then five as our family fractured.

Ten with a stepparent and four more children.

Nine as one graduated and moved out.

Eleven as the one returns with a baby.

We moved often.

An old house in town until it burned.

A new trailer for five rose from the ashes.

A larger trailer for ten in the country.

An old farmhouse not far down the road.

The garage of an old gas station.

With all its smells.

A milk cow and calf indoors.

With their more pungent odors.

A school bus converted to living quarters.

Life in bottoms along a creek.

Fishing and hunting for food to eat.

Living off the land.

A farmhouse across the creek.

Dry and dusty manure shoveled out.

The floor bleached.

We moved in.

We were together wherever we were.

Yet I knew it was time for me to go.

Alone and vulnerable.

Harm came my way.

Emotions stinted in time.

Hardhearted to survive.

Chaos.

Bought by the blood of Jesus.

Continuous feeding on God’s Word.

Broke the yoke of my fear.

And set my feet on solid ground.

My family is now much larger and filled with love for me. God is my Father and my brothers and sisters in Christ are innumerable. Leaning on Jesus, I have peace and joy beyond understanding.

“Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm” (Mark 4:38, 39 NKJV).

In Christ,

Berta

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