Chaos

When I left my home at seventeen, I was alone. I experienced fear in my ability to function in daily life. I had been a member of a family, a group of people focused only on day-to-day survival. 


Our dynamics changed frequently but we were together wherever we were.

Six members then five as our family fractured.

Ten with a stepparent and four more children.

Nine as one graduated and moved out.

Eleven as the one returns with a baby.

We moved often.

An old house in town until it burned.

A new trailer for five rose from the ashes.

A larger trailer for ten in the country.

An old farmhouse not far down the road.

The garage of an old gas station.

With all its smells.

A milk cow and calf indoors.

With their more pungent odors.

A school bus converted to living quarters.

Life in bottoms along a creek.

Fishing and hunting for food to eat.

Living off the land.

A farmhouse across the creek.

Dry and dusty manure shoveled out.

The floor bleached.

We moved in.

We were together wherever we were.

Yet I knew it was time for me to go.

Alone and vulnerable.

Harm came my way.

Emotions stinted in time.

Hardhearted to survive.

Chaos.

Bought by the blood of Jesus.

Continuous feeding on God’s Word.

Broke the yoke of my fear.

And set my feet on solid ground.

My family is now much larger and filled with love for me. God is my Father and my brothers and sisters in Christ are innumerable. Leaning on Jesus, I have peace and joy beyond understanding.

“Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?” Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, “Peace, be still!” And the wind ceased and there was a great calm” (Mark 4:38, 39 NKJV).

In Christ,

Berta

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Ashamed of the Pain

I talk about my injury with people everywhere I go, and I hear this often: “You’re easy to talk to, but I don’t know what to say to most people in wheelchairs. They seem angry. How do you do so well?”

Honestly, I only do well sometimes. I have to face my enemies every day.


I had just accepted the unconditional love and forgiveness Jesus offers eight months before I drove through an intersection and under a logging truck.

After coming home from rehabilitation at Shepherd Center in Atlanta, GA, I felt worthless. I refused help from everyone but my family. I sat day after day, and year after year, with my eyes closed. Sometimes I was asleep, but mostly I was hiding.

I was ashamed of the pain I caused my family and friends. I prayed God would take me home. I can’t describe the depth of my pain, guilt, depression, and frustration of facing life dependent on other people.

Today I can tell you, “God is good!” He uses people like you every day of my life to bless and minister to me. A Sunday school teacher invited me to teach once a month. The church secretary asked me to write for the newsletter. Friends asked questions and I began telling what God was doing in my life.

Do I believe Gods will for me is healing? Yes. Does that mean complete healing of my earthly body? I don't know. I do know I’ll have a glorified body in heaven. Today I have continuous healing of my mind, body, soul, and spirit. I no longer live in guilt but in the joy of my Lord and Savior.

Through Jesus life, death and resurrection I have been made whole.

I pray my testimony blesses you. Though we may never meet here on earth, we are all sisters and brothers in Christ Jesus and heirs of the Kingdom of God.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-6 NIV.)

In Christ,

Berta  

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Photo, A Dry and Barren Land, courtesy of iStock